Anal sex: Being honest about what they don't talk about

Anal sex is one of the most discussed and at the same time the most hushed up topics. Men want to, but they're too shy to ask. Women are afraid, but sometimes they agree. As a result, they both feel awkward, hurt, and disappointed. Or vice versa — an experience that opens up a new facet of pleasure.

""The truth is that anal is not "hard" or "dirty." It's just a different format. And if you approach it with your head, it can become one of the most vivid impressions. And if there is no preparation, it is one of the most unsuccessful.

Why men want to, but are afraid to ask

Anal sex for many men is a taboo that they want to break. A feeling of crowding, power, something "forbidden". But asking for it out loud means admitting to a desire that society often stigmatizes. That's why men are silent. Or they ask at the last moment, when it's too late to change anything.

If you want to try it, tell me about it in advance. Not in the process. Not when she's already lying underneath you. Tell me in an hour, in a day, in a week. This will give her time to think, prepare, and decide if she wants to do this at all.

Why do women refuse

There are usually three reasons: fear of pain, fear of "dirt" and lack of experience. And all three are solvable.

Fear of pain is the most frequent. He comes from the stories of girlfriends, from porn, where everything looks rough, and from the first bad experience when someone entered abruptly and without lubrication. In fact, anal sex can be painless. If you do everything right.

The fear of "dirt" is also real. But it is solved by simple preparation: a shower, a microclyster, a clean towel. It's not a shame. This is hygiene.

Lack of experience is not a problem. The problem is the partner's lack of patience.

How to get started correctly

The first rule is to take your time. Anal sex does not start with penetration. It starts with fingers, lubrication and relaxation.

Start with a massage. Stroke her buttocks, the inside of her thighs. Then — circular movements around the anus, without penetration. It warms up and relieves tension.

Then — one finger, lubricated generously. Gradually. No pressure. Let her get used to it. If she's straining, stop, wait, stroke her. Only when she relaxes can she move on.

And only after she gets used to the fingers, you can taste the penis. But with the utmost caution. Enter slowly. Look at her face. Listen to the breathing.

Lubrication is not an option.

Anal sex without lube is a pain. Always. Even if it seems like it's enough. Use silicone grease — it does not absorb and does not dry out. Apply it on the penis, on the anus, on your fingers. And add more. More is better than less.

Poses for the first time

The best anal positions are those where a woman can relax and control the process.

· On the side (spoons). The most comfortable for the first time. Slowly, gently, she can adjust the depth.
· From above. She sits down on her own, controls herself. It gives her a sense of security.
· Doggie. It's deep, but it requires trust. Not for the first time.

What needs to be discussed in advance

· Whether she wants it at all.
· Does she have any experience.
· What to do if it hurts is a safe word.
· Where to cum is not in the anus if there is no condom.
· A condom is required. Always.

The main conclusion

Anal sex is not about "take it and do it." It's about trust, patience and respect. If the woman agreed, this is already a huge step forward. And your task is to make sure that she doesn't regret it.

If you do everything right, she can cum from anal. If it's wrong, she'll remember it as a pain and never want to do it again.

So don't rush it. Listen. Lubricate it. And then anal will cease to be taboo and will become something that both of you will remember with a smile.