How to stop being shy about your body in bed

The most common fear of men before a meeting is not the price, not the time, not even "what if he doesn't get up." The most common fear is the body. Too fat, too thin, too small penis, too big belly, too hairy back, too pale skin. The list can go on indefinitely.

And the most annoying thing is that the woman at the meeting doesn't really care about most of these "flaws." But the man doesn't believe it. Therefore, instead of relaxing and having fun, he is tense, clamped down, thinks about how he looks from the outside, and eventually kills all the buzz for himself and the girl.

Let's find out why men are self-conscious about their bodies in bed and how to stop doing it.

Where does fear come from

It all starts at school. In physical education. In the locker room. In the comments of classmates. "Fat", "skinny", "you have a small dick, but what are you". These phrases are etched into the memory and remain there for decades. Even if a man has grown up a long time ago, lost weight, got pumped up, earned money and became successful, the childish voice inside still whispers: "You're not good enough."

Porn is added to this. Perfect bodies, perfect cocks, perfect poses, perfect everything. The man looks and compares. And of course, he loses. Because porn is not reality. This is a staged picture where the actors are on a special diet, using a special light, and the penis is enlarged due to camera angles and editing.

What does a woman really see

A woman who accepts a man does not measure him with a centimeter, does not weigh him or compare him with a picture. She feels it. She sees his eyes, his smile, his hands, the way he breathes, the way he speaks. Contact is important to her, not biceps. It's important to her that she feels comfortable, not that he looks like an actor.

And if a man is relaxed, if he doesn't try to pull in his stomach or cover himself with his hand, if he looks into his eyes and doesn't look away, he becomes a hundred times more attractive. Because confidence is the most powerful aphrodisiac.

The "accept first, then change" technique

No one says that you don't need to work on yourself. If you want to lose weight, get pumped up, and get fit, do it. But not in order to finally stop being shy. And in order to be healthier, stronger, more energetic.

To accept your body is to tell yourself: "I look the way I look. And that's not a bad thing. It's just a fact. I can change, but I won't hate myself before it happens." This is called "self-assessment work." And without it, no gym will help.

Why does a girl at a meeting not care about your "flaws"?

She's already seen your photos. She's already agreed to the meeting. She came. So you're already right for her. Appearance doesn't matter at the stage when she's already undressed in front of you.

Moreover, a professional girl has seen hundreds of bodies. Different. Big, small, with tattoos, without tattoos, with moles, with scars. She won't be surprised or disapproved. She's just going to do her job— give you pleasure.

Practical tips on how to stop being shy

— Don't hide the body. Don't cover yourself with your hands, don't turn away, don't turn out the lights. Undress slowly, look into your eyes, smile.
"Don't apologize. Not for my stomach, not for my dick, not for my mole. Apologies kill excitement.
"Don't compare it. She doesn't compare you to others. You're the only man in this room. Be him.
"Breathe." Deep and calm. Tension goes away through breathing.
"Remember, she's not here to evaluate your body. She's here to make you feel good.

The main conclusion

You don't have to be perfect. You have to be real. Be honest with yourself. Relaxed. Open. Then your body will cease to be an object for embarrassment and become a tool for pleasure. And the woman lying next to you won't remember your stomach or wrinkles. She'll remember your voice. Your confidence. Your look. Your hands.

And this is much more important than any abs or biceps.

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