Oral sex: how to stop being shy and start having fun

"We seem to be adults, but this topic seems to be forbidden. It's uncomfortable, scary, or disgusting, or I don't know how." Let's be honest: oral sex is not the "aerobatics" of porn and is not something you should do. It's just one of the games that you can enjoy playing. Or not playing is also OK.

But if you want to, but you're shy, here are three steps that really work.

Step 1. Talk... no, not in bed

The biggest mistake is trying to give out "it" unexpectedly, right during sex. It usually ends in awkwardness. Because you don't have an agreement.

Make it easier. Choose a quiet moment (breakfast, a walk, when you are both full and not in a hurry). Say something like this:

"Listen, I've been thinking(a) — it would be interesting for me to try oral sex. But I'm a little worried. Let's just talk, what do we like and what don't?"

It doesn't destroy the romance. It creates it. Because real intimacy is about security.

Step 2. Hygiene — not ashamed, but caring

Many are afraid: "What if there's a smell? What if he/she doesn't like it?" Let's be honest: it's okay to wash before petting. And even sexy.

Tell your partner: "Let's go to the shower together — there will be a warm-up." Or take a shower separately 15 minutes before. No one expects you to smell like roses after the gym.

And if something is confusing along the way, you can quietly say: "Can I move a little?" or "Let's try this?" No offense.

Step 3. "What exactly should I do?" — three simple rules

Turn off the porn instructions. Everything is there for the picture, not for the thrill.

· Language is not a drill. No need to push, vibrate like a bee and make 100 movements per second. Just gently move the pad of your tongue or lips. Gradually. Ask: "Is that good?"
· Hands help. You don't just use your mouth. Stroke your partner's stomach, thigh, and buttock. This relieves tension and makes the process more general, rather than a "one-sided feat."
· You can get distracted. Is your jaw tired? Is your mouth dry? Say, "Wait a second, I'll catch my breath." And kiss me on the stomach. A pause is normal. It's not broken sex.

The main thing: the right to say "no" at any time

Have you started and realized what you don't like? Stop it. The partner started — do you feel uncomfortable? Stop it. Say an anchor phrase, for example: "Stop, let's do it differently."

A good partner will say, "Okay, thanks for telling me."/He said it." Bad — it presses. The second can be sent for re-education or for withdrawal.

And remember

Oral sex does not have to end with orgasm. Sometimes it's just a caress. Sometimes it's a warm-up. Sometimes you laugh for half a minute because a hair gets in your mouth and switch to something else. It's all ok.

Sex is not an exam. And oral sex is not an Olympic sport. It's about curiosity, tenderness, and permission to be clumsy.

Try it and don't judge yourself harshly.

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